People assume compatibility as a baseline requirement, then want more. “I want him to fit in with my family and do all the things I love to do-and he should be sexy, and he should take me out to cool places.” I think you can have an even more fulfilling relationship if you respect each other’s worlds, and learn a little bit from each other. I always think of the phrase, “You’ve met your match.” You really do want someone who challenges and spars with you. -Nancy Slotnick, dating coach, founder of cablight
I recently asked myself: What would social science have to say to a matchmaker? Damn little. Measures of personality don’t predict anything, but how people interact does. Couples need to feel they are building something together that has meaning. This is the existential part. You must also connect emotionally. How much do you respond to each other’s bids for attention? Does your partner turn toward you with equal enthusiasm? You need to ask questions and constantly update your knowledge of one another. And you need the ability to hear your partner’s delight and take it in. -John Gottman, founder-director of the Relationship Research Institute, Seattle
The biggest reason people get divorced is they grow apart. I don’t see many marriages that can be saved, and I don’t know that it’s possible to save marriages. Counseling doesn’t work; by the time couples get to the lawyer, their positions are very hardened. -Raoul Felder, divorce lawyer who has presided over the dissolution of some 8,000 marriages
A couple needs to be within one standard deviation of each other in intelligence (10 points in either direction). -Neil http://besthookupwebsites.org/eastmeeteast-review Clark Warren, founder of eHarmony and creator of a questionnaire that attempts to match couples
Relationship skills, on the other hand, can always be improved, and they’ll help any two people-with any two personalities-to get along better
Personality is important, but no one really knows how to match personalities up.